What I Feel About Schools

Thanks all for your support and advices! Without the internet and friends  as a portal, I would really be super lost ,anxious and lonely.. I don't know why when it comes to Arwen, I am always so anxious , sometimes I am so sick of this. I wish to relax but it is hard to relax when all these experiences are new and most probably once in a lifetime episode and since it is once in the life time episode , I feel the pressure to do it well and not mess up.

Maybe to me, education is not a fun thing, it is an obligation to go to school. I remember my kindergarten days all the way to Polytechnic. It was not fun as tout by all now. 99% I have no say ( 1% if when I ask to go to the loo and even sometimes that is not allowed). Mother dressed me up and ask me to go kindy, teachers asked me to answer questions , do the tests, the exams, principals take rulers to measure my fringe, my nails and socks. From age 4 to 16, 12 years straight I was to do as I was told. Then there are the social pressures, from bullys, to boyfriends , to friends and to friends who can decide not to friend you if other friend give her a White Rabbit sweet. Overall, I hated school, it was boring, one sided and totally monarchic. I remembered by immensely relieved when I graduated and started work. I am not one of those who thinks it is better to be in school than work. Real life is much more fun.

So now I have a child who just started school and I am so proud of her but yet worried, worried if she will face the same kind of stuff I went through in school . Of course I will be there for her, of course, I will always give you a sympathetic ear, of course I am always on her side. But I know it is small comfort. She needs to learn how to deal. I know she will be alright but sad I cannot shield her from other humans who may or may not hurt her intentionally or unintentionally.

I know schools too , is different now. When the teacher today shows me the photos of Arwen playing and interacting with other kids on her digital camera, I was grateful beyond words. That they take in account the questions I must be asking as a parent. I am sure the teachers today take more interest in individual students rather than a whole. I like France education system as there is no uniforms for the students and not a whole lot of privatized schools to choose from. In fact here, there are only 1 private school but the distance is too far away to travel for me. It is hard as coming from Singapore which emphasize so much on not just education but superb education, I am constantly worried if Arwen will match up to a Singaporean kid. As it is , there are so many school vacations , I wonder if Arwen can really learn enough!

But observing the laissez-faire attitude among the parents here, to the French, their government school system is.. enough. No questions. So perhaps it is I who will need to let go of my perceptions of school and let the French take over in this area. But of course I will be taking notes and chew my mind out later.

Written on 2nd October .