31st December 2012.

Last day of 2012 ... how has it been for you guys? For me, it had been a yin yang open close kind of year

1) Leaving Shanghai
2) Starting new life in France
3) Closing my store
4) Planning my new store
5) Leaving my good friends
6) Making new ones

But overall.... I feel more downtime than up. Maybe I said too many goodbyes... I hope next year I can settle and make friends for life .. :)

Father And Daughter

In a Church in Riquewihr, Laurent walked Arwen down the aisle. I could not help but tear a little as I take this photo. The love between father and daughter is one of a kind and I had mine so I know how blessed it is. I prayed one day maybe 20 to 25 years later, I would have the chance to see Arwen walked down the aisle , hand in hand with Laurent for her marriage.

Written on 22nd December 2012.

I don't get my hubby sometimes.

Hubby : Hmm... you know I better eat something now or else later at the Xmas market if I am hungry , I will be cranky .

Me ( slogging at the kitchen ) : Yah, eat , EAT all you want cause when you are cranky, it is really annoying and will spoil my day.

Hubby throw me THE LOOK.

Me : What? Out of 365 days, I am NOT CRANKY for 20 days so that means it is more of a personality hence cannot change and by now you should get used to it and if still not used to it, I cannot help you. But you , the sporadic crankiness that happens 15 or 25 times a year which can be easily avoided by you being not hungry, it is a no brainer who should change.

Hubby : ...........................................

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Hubby : I would like to buy a digital camera but very expensive.

Me ( KNS, I also know expensive but being a good wife) : Buy lah, you "deserve it " .

Hubby : But I would like to buy second hand one, you know I always prefer to buy second hand .

Me : But it is good to get new one, I mean for example, I am the first wife you have right ? It is not second hand right ?

Hubby : But you are not a virgin right ?

Me : So you are saying I am used good LAH!

Hubby ran away to the other room.

KNS. Damn hard to trap him to buy new things.

Written on 22nd December 2012. 

Thanks Dezima!

You know .. this year I am SERIOUSLY NOT IN THE MOOD for Christmas. I tried to get into in by going to as many Xmas markets as possible, I try to find joy in getting gifts for people I love. I sang shitload of Christmas song. Made a lot of cards with Arwen. But.. nothing. No mood. I give up. It is already Xmas Eve here and all I want to do is to jump in to bed with a toffee nut latte and my magazines.

Of course my in laws are wonderful and they did an awesome job with the house and all the gifts but I am untouched.

I spoke to DH , I suppose maybe simply I miss my family and friends. And maybe to me , everyday I feel richly blessed with what I have. Maybe everyday I thank God for my family, my friends and Arwen. So to me, everyday is like Christmas.

Also, the last two years my good friends Dezima , Benson and my God Daughter Alyssa had taken the efforts ( as in their nature ) to visit us in Shanghai for Christmas. I miss them.... They are the most loving and giving people I know. They actually MAKE the effort and when they do , they do it 100% and see it through. Naturally it is no brainer to ask them to be Arwen's Godparents.

I know Dezima for 16 years, half my life. We have nothing in common but she is one friend who really accepts me for who I am. She never DOUBTS me. She always believes in me and she means it. I can't say the same about me to her. I suppose in some way, I always wonder what makes her stick to being my friend. I am not the most positive person, nor the most giving person but she still wants to be my friend and Godmother to Alyssa.

Funnily as I looked at the gift from her this year... I am very amused. I think she is the only person who "dare " to buy me jewelries seeing that I do not like wearing any ( 'cept my wedding rings). But the thing is... she always got them right! The blue star Swarovski necklace, I love it to death. The fine gold heart necklace two years back, really something I will wear and this year a Pandora bracelet. I was about to get one and boy I was shocked to see it as I open the box. I just hold the bracelet and I miss her even more...

I can't wait to go back to Singapore in 5 weeks and spend good quality time with her and my Goddaughter. Having lunches, catching up and just laze with her.

Dezima, Benson and Alyssa.. thanks for making Christmas special everytime . Next year come okay! Or it is too hard to be in the mood!

Written on 24th December 2012.

Chores are the way to my heart.

I was very busy with the chores and cooking and after my shower, I was pleasantly surprised to see the clothes are folded by Laurent without me telling him to do so.

You know sometimes I am just so thankful for Laurent. He has been a great great husband and dad this year . He will do anything for Arwen and work as a team with me. Offering always to take care of Arwen so I can do my own things ( told him it is cheaper to help me than me going to see a psychological due to breakdown). Helping me to potty train her and stick to our ( my) plans on how to raise Arwen. Do the dishes, put Arwen to bed, read to her, never once raise voice at her, always very patient with her.

It is not an overnight thing. It took quite awhile to adjust and sometimes it stresses both of us out. But he prod on and even when it is very tiring , he will still do his share. I am not sure what the future holds as life is so uncertain but as I see this pile of clothes carefully folded , I know that indeed I have a great partner on the same path with me in life. Thanks Beautiful Geek!

Written on 29th December 2012.

Miss my "Mate"

Recently I was in Freiburg , a small but busy city in Germany. It was nice but for some reasons, I was not in the shopping mood I thought I will be in. I was bored with all the stores and got confused by the language barrier ( apparently Germans who lived 1.5 hours away from France still do not speak French).

But what made my day was spotting a Starbucks! I yelled "OMG A STARBUCKS, I MUST GO THERE!" much to the amusement of nearly Germans. I told DH to take Arwen away for awhile while I grab a cup of Toffee Nut Latte. Stepping in, I inhale the familiar fragrant aroma and felt so much at home and quickly placed an order.

Took my precious T.N Latte and stand at a corner, suddenly very sad.. memories rushed in.. I miss my friend Andrea.

She is like the coolest, the most loyal person, most real friend I had made in a long long time. We used to have this little afternoon getaways where first we will head to Starbucks and grab a grande and just walk and talk. We talked about everything and anything and about nothing. I often came home from one of our meetings, not knowing what we actually had chatted the last 3 hours but yet feels so good, so connected, so happy.

I do not know if I will ever meet another person like her. I do not think me and her, we are like perfect people ever and even now I wonder how we clicked but it is THAT CONNECTION. A person who just GETS me and I hope I her ( most of the time at least) , that understands what I the hell I am talking about ( very very very very few people does..) , who never stood me up ( carrying her toddler to my house for playdate despite horrendous pouring rain by a cab), who has the most wicked sense of humor and her strength and courage is depthless and who is not afraid to ask for advice or help when she needs it.

I admired her a lot as a whole person, the way she lead her life, the way she raised her two kids, the way she never gives up. I dedicated this post and my cup of T.N Latte to her and our friendship. Cheers Mate!

 
                                Of course my T.N Latte did not ultimately go unnoticed by Arwen...

Written on 12th December 2012.

My Dear Are You Turning Soft?

HOW FATHERHOOD CHANGES LAURENT THE ATHEIST GEEK AND HOW MOTHERHOOD CHANGES JESSIE THE DREAMER.

Considering Xmas present for Little Miss Malod-Panisset

Jessie : How about Clifford The Big Red Dog soft toy?

Laurent : But SpaceJiJi ( our current Ikea brown soft toy dog) will be jealous...

Jessie Staring At Him For 3 Secs : How could Space be jealous, HE IS A SOFT TOY! My God you are turning soft aren't you?

Laurent ( Sheepishly) : I suppose so, I even want you to take Arwen to play in the soft before it melts. We should buy her skis!

Jessie : You are kidding right? I spent the morning trying to balance myself on the icy snow while walking to school and to avoid being hit by the icicles on the buildings and the afternoon cleaning her skid marks ok!

Laurent conceded defeat and look sad . I feel bad and told him next year when I am not risking my life walking on this shitty thick snow to school 50 mins a day to and fro, I should be in a more wintery mood.

                                       Oh yah, Laurent and his cute slippers says "Hi".

Written on 10th December 2012.